The House Of Immortality

I don't know why but I really don't mind it. I wonder whether that's Jason's doing or whatXD

I dunno, but don't tell him you're ok with it, otherwise he might think about getting moe intimate with Sammi in front of us all :S

... *is sat speechless* Well, so much for marrying Sansa... XD I... Did not see that coming... Didn't expect him to be gay o.O

I assume this is still Game of Thrones?

Yup ^_^ That's a plot twist o.O Yeah... Next episode? Next episode!

Have fun, you two. I might just sit here and... Fight off some mild form of depression or something, I don't even know... Gah! DX Sometimes I really hate myself.

Same. *at the same time* Same. ... We really have to stop doing that. Agreed. Anyway, want to talk about it, wolfie?

Waaaait a minute wait a minute. Does Jon Snow sound a bit like... Eret son of Eret? Yeah, I was just thinking that... I'll check later...

I dunno... It's just that my friends are always so open about who they are, particularly with their sexuality. They can go up to anyone and be like 'Hey! I'm bisexual and proud!' or even, 'I have mental disorders and I'm not afraid to say so!' and I never ever be like that because of what I think is social anxiety disorder (I'm not exactly a doctor but things do match up). I just have this constant like voice in the back of my head that says 'If you say this, you're gonna be judged.' and 'Don't say this, otherwise they'll think you're weird!' and I know it's stupid but I can't turn it off. I wont ever be able to be as open as my friends because of my constant fear of being judged and that makes me feel... I don't know, pathetic? Cowardly? Like I'm an idiot for being so scared about it all. I don't know, it just puts me down knowing that my fear of judgement controls me so much. I'm always harsh on myself, anyways - academically, looks-wise etc. - but it's just depressing knowing that, where my friends can be whoever they want, I'm always gonna have to hold a piece of myself back.

Does any of this make sense? It probably doesn't. I'm sorry, my brain's just all over the place right now.

By the way, I looked it up for you. It is Eret son of Eret.

Ah! I knew it! He kinda looks like him too! XD

And actually,I do get where you're coming from. I'm also like that around pretty much everyone,so I never say anything. I don't know if it's any consolation knowing that I'm similar but it might help. I mean, I don't really talk about my sexuality or the possibility that I could be bipolar directly, but I don't deny it, if you know what I mean...

Mhmm. I used to deny things, but now... Well no one actually really talks about things like that with regards to me much anymore, but if someone makes a comment I'll subtly hint at something but I wont just blurt it out. Sometimes I think about saying it, but then the little 'Judging' voice comes back :/

Yeah, I know what you mean. For example, when I was with Callum the other day,I can't remember what we were talking about completely but I said somethint like 'potential girlfriends' and he was like '... You do remember that I'm gay, right?' then I casually responded with 'oh, I know.' XD

For me it's a bit more... Well my mum once said something along the lines of 'Eww, they're kissing.' when we watched a show involving lesbians, and then the other day she was talking about one of the girls from her work who has a girlfriend putting up a picture of a hot guy on Facebook and I can't remember exactly but the conversation went something like:

Mum: I don't get that.
Me: Maybe she's bisexual?
Mum: Yeah, but I don't think she's been with a guy before.

I said nothing, but I just felt like she had no clue what being bisexual was and probably wouldn't even accept it if she knew what it was and... Ugh, I just don't feel comfortable telling her stuff about me because of things like that. I can't even tell my friends even though half of them are bisexual because of the voice constantly saying 'They'll judge you, if you say anything they'll judge you.' >.<

Halloween costumes

Henry: Poseidon

Spoiler:

Kennedy: Now attending, going as Hermione Granger while Valeriya is going as Dobby.
Vitalis: Superman (Rachel convinced him to take on the man of steel despite his uncertainty of Halloween)
Ryker: Fireman

Spoiler:

Rachel: Super-girl
Dilynn: Ghost-buster (came up with the idea after hearing Brody's plan, she decided it would be funny)
Sam: Not attending
Kai: Working a late shift at the bar
Holland: Female Captain America

Spoiler:

Elsa: Loki
Micah: Robin Hood, decided upon by himself

Spoiler:

Just updating my Halloween list

I fear opening up too about being bisexual. I mean, my mom knows but I'm positive that's the only person... Well, not anymore obviously. But before now anyway. I just fear what others will think, since I have a few friends that are girls and they talk down sometimes about my friends who attend GSA. I don't go, though I'd like to, because I'm also afraid and I suppose fear might be keeping me back from actually enjoying life in highschool beyond pretending. Life in general, possibly, because my confidence is low due to the fact of my fear.

If Kennedy's going I'mma have to change Yuffie's post. And now Yuffie has no excuse not to go to the party! XD Anyways, Anna still needs to talk to Elsa so... Yeah... Pick up where we left off last night with those two? And rp Justelsa/Holligail? And hi Linz ^_^

I guess we're in the same club, then. *Huggles Linz.* I kinda want to go to my college's LGBT group but I'm worried about seeing someone I know and even if I don't that's still me opening up to strangers and risking... Well, I guess I wouldn't be judged by them since they're in the same boat, but the irrational fear's still there >.< And yeah, like with Linz, you guys are the only ones I've ever talked to openly about it. No real life friends, no family, just online friends.

Apart from Callum I'm the same. I'm just gonna let everyone else find out through my actions. Much less awkward than a conversation, I think. Well... Cmpared with the conversation Tyrion just had to have with Sansa while his girlfriend was there, nothing can be more awkwardXD True, true.

I think I'll just keep with the subtle hints and hope people get it. I doubt I'll ever really be able to come out and say it so people so... Yeah... It's gonna be tough if I date a girl, though, because I really don't know how I'd tell my parents what with my judgement fear. I might just do what I did when I dated Alan - something I also didn't want my parents to know because of the judgement fear - and just invite future lucky person (Hehe) around more often and just get a liiiittle cuddly in front of my parents. They've already accepted that they're not gonna get biological grandkids from me so it shouldn't be that hard... Right?

Actually I wont change Yuffie's post. I'll let her believe that Kennedy's still not going, and then when Yuffie realizes that she is, she can be all like, 'Oh... Great... -_-'

If that's 'sleeping', what on Earth do I do on a night? O.o Please, we all saw it coming. I really wish I had a blonde female to go as Khaleesi for Halloween :/

Mind a repost? Pretty please?

My mom knows, so I guess one of my family members are on the list. But she confronted me with suspicion, which I confirmed. Now we openly discuss it when alone sometimes, she's really accepting of it.

My mum doesn't really think before she speaks and sometimes she says things that I find offensive so I can't talk to her about it. Dad's worse. Plus I have a really judgemental nan and if she ever found out... Yeah... Things wouldn't be pretty. I feel like I'm pretty much trapped sometimes.

Well, so far so good. No 'What are you doing's or 'Justin, stop's, in fact I didn't seem to be in any trouble at all, and I could practically hear the smile in her voice as she greeted me. The hand in my hair only drove me to continue, enjoying the feel of my girlfriend's fingers twisted into brown locks. At her question, I nodded into her neck, pulling back shortly after to give her a proper answer. "Yeah, I guess you could say that I'm feeling better." I chuckled slightly, though the blush was starting to creep over my face. Gosh, what must she be thinking, huh? 'Why is Justin acting so weird?' 'Is he feeling ok?' I felt the sudden need to explain my weird behaviour, but even that was going to be embarrassing. "I've just... Always wanted to do that." I explained, hiding my face into Elsa's shoulder, hiding the blush from her. "I just thought that, you know, I'd never know if it was ok with you unless I tried..." I could feel the bravery beginning to ear off, being replaced by feeling stupid. Gosh, what was I thinking? If Elsa wanted to take things to the next level she would've initiated it, right? Unless being brought up as royalty meant that she wasn't really allowed to do these kind of thing... I don't know, I didn't really know what I was doing anymore, I just felt like 7 months was long enough to start doing more intimate things, not fading - not until we were married - but just something beyond simple kissing.

Abby post:

By the way, people, I'm starting the Halloween party stuff on Thursday, so all my characters will be skippying on that day.

From yesterday:

Warm and private? That's all you're gonna say? I was hoping for a specific place or something -_- *Sighs.* Fine, I will pass that along to the anonymous person who wants to know and they'll do something with that info. Bye bye! *Sneaks away to call the mystery person.* O.o That was random... Anyway, Elsa, can we talk in your room, please? I, uh, kinda need to tell you about something. *Stroke the platinum blond streak in her hair nervously.*

Daenerys Stormborn is so freaking epic X3 I love her X3